rules of the road

Recently returned from a lovely trip to California, where I met up with partner-in-crime Loh-rider and road-tripped to see M.E.G. and the Mahimanator ... here are some lessons and observations:

1. Fine wines and spirits are a wonderful accompaniment to fine dining, but its best complement is excellent service.

While waiting for our table at Chez Panisse in Berkeley, I had a beer. Then the first of five courses was an aperitif. And, we (I mean Mahiminator) expertly ordered wine with our meal -- delicious salmon carpaccio with fava beans, risotto with mushrooms and squab salad -- and our host brought us a beautifully sweet moscato to enjoy with our strawberry-rhubarb compote with ginger ice milk, to make up for the wait before dinner.

Needless to say, I was toasted.

That may have interfered with my appreciation of the food, but not of the service. Everyone from the maitre d' on was very chatty and friendly. I discussed the local-vore movement with the sommelier, who had only learned the term that day. And a chef (B.?) took us on a tour of the kitchen afterward where we watched them plate food for the staff.

Overall, it was a wonderful experience that I would recommend to others.

2. It's okay to ignore the border patrol. Apparently this is part of California culture that everyone should just accept.

3. Jewelry and makeup can be fun to experiment with, but the best accessory is confidence.

It was so, so fun to spend a day shopping for earrings and necklaces and clothes with the ladies on the edge of SF's marina district ... an activity I usually avoid, due to my issues with commitment. Then we continued on to close out the makeup counter at the Macy's in Union Square. It was tons of fun experimenting, but in the end I contend being comfortable in your own skin is the best beauty enhancer ever.

But this leads to the circular argument: what if you're only comfortable wearing a mask of makeup? And is cleavage too powerful a weapon --- or can it be used for good?

4. Hair-braiding is not as dangerous as massage.

5. Numbers are only as important as you make them.

No matter the measure --- whether it's a man's height, his annual income or his response to certain questions on his census form --- it's probably more critical to consider how the number affects his treatment of you than to focus on what other people will think.

6. In Berkeley, it's appropriate to upgrade your request of a stranger from cancer stick to a little Mary Jane.

7. Get out the map.

Friendships can endure despite distances of space and time. Thank goodness.