a more affectionate form of biological warfare

So, I'm sick. Every day this week I've had symptoms that are slowly assembling (kind of like Voltron) to form a pretty nasty nasty cold. Sunday and Monday, I had a fever. Tuesday and Wednesday brought on a runny nose. Now my nose is so stuffy that my throat is getting scratchy as a result.

 

Actually, I have a fever but no chills, because it's so amazingly hot outside. Over 60 degrees in November, dudes.

 

I'm not the only person in the office under the weather. It seems like everyone independently caught something over the Thanksgiving weekend, probably from small children they encountered during the trip. My own youngest niece spent the weekend, her second as a 3-year-old, charging around dishing out hugs and kisses with abandon, leaving trails of contamination in her wake.

 

The redhead once said that instead of bombs we should send battalions of toddlers to our enemies. Picture it -- swarms of pre-kindergarteners, armed with sippy cups, demanding glue and chocolate, not necessarily in that order, sneezing on every horizontal surface. That ought to bring down even the most dasterdly foes.

the search begins

So, since the sibling-offspring are still too young to read this blog, I can reveal here first that Auntie Santa is going to be packing watches for at least two of the three of them.

Now, I haven't always stuck to my values when purchasing a gift for the kids. I bought A.J. his first GameBoy when he was 3 -- an original (and used) model from eBay. And Kayla can wile away the hours playing Barbie Real Estate Investor because I contributed one of the two hot-pink mega-mansions when she turned 4. But I always debate whether I should yield to the silly commericalization of their society and purchase gender-specific, Disney-fied versions of whatever they're asking for. Then again, the Mickey Mouse watch is classic ...

As I began my quest the 21st century way (with a Google search) I discovered this article about the difficulties of selecting a wristwatch for an Indian child.

" ... please ensure that you are updated with the life of your young one to ensure that when you are out shopping for them, you have it right. You don't want them to sulk away and wish that they had another set of parents."

Just for purchasing an out-of-style watch?!

My own parents and relatives always seemed pretty quick to give small children watches --- sometimes even before the kid had a firm understanding of the passage of time. I always figured watches, like umbrellas, were status symbols in the old country. And the 'rents believed ripping the paper off a present was the most fun of all. The two concepts had merged in one package I opened as a four-year-old, only to discover that Kris Kringle had brought me vitamins, toothpaste and a purse-sized bumbershoot. If that's not proof that the Red Man is a lie, I don't know what is.

Guinea hen, not Constantinople

I think that for as long as I've celebrated Thanksgiving and had a reasonable understanding of geography I've been confused by the coincidence that both a bird and a country are named "Turkey."

A quick search on dictionary.com reveals that turkeys were originally confused with what wikipedia describes in greater detail as a guinea fowl of Turkish origin.

Akeelah and the Bee

I defied usual patterns of behavior moments ago by making it entirely through Akeelah and the Bee without falling asleep, after working until nearly 1 a.m. Saturday morning. Usually, the redhead says, the whir of a DVD sliding into the player is enough to lull me into a deep slumber, but perhaps the skim latte I sucked down at 6 p.m. helped stave off the ZZZs.

 

Anyway, although I'm inclined to enjoy any movie that features Scrabble so prominently, the story of Akeelah, an 11-year-old from the 'hood who gains the love and respect of her family and peers as she prepares for the national spelling bee, was just cloyingly sweet. Probably best suited for those who still can muster that suspension of disbelief so necessary to truly enjoy such a film, such as my 6-year-old niece.

 

The redhead declined to watch it, asking "what's with all the spelling bee movies these days?" There do seem to be several live and film depictions of the contests out there, what with the 2005 adaptation of Bee Season and the musical on Broadway. But he never even saw the best of the bunch: Spellbound, a documentary about kids preparing for the nationals.

 

And who knows? They may someday exist only in fictionalized form. Some people are blaming what's known as the No Child Left Behind act as a good reason to disband spelling bees altogether.

but does it taste any good?

Seems like the nicotini does in fact exist, at least if you believe Google. But how does it taste? Maggie Downs says it's swill.

 

 

Urban Word of the Day: nicotini

Could this really be possible? Would people really serve tobacco-infused vodka, and would people really stave off the cravings with it?

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: daily@urbandictionary.com <daily@urbandictionary.com>
Date: Nov 9, 2006 7:55 AM
Subject: Urban Word of the Day: nicotini

Urban Word of the Day
www.urbandictionary.com

November 09, 2006: nicotini

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=nicotini&defid=1952548

An alcoholic drink that includes nicotine as an ingredient. Usually made with vodka in which tobacco has been soaked. Generally billed as an alternative for smokers in smoke-free establishments.

After the citywide smoking ban came into effect, my only option was to drink an occassional nicotini while barhopping.

robocalls

This was a phenomenal election year for robocalls ... I got three from Bill Clinton and one from Jesse Jackson, as well as the usual rings from actual candidates themselves.

 

But I was inspired by this headline on Kevin Cowherd's election column. Imagine if we could robocall all the people who were elected to office and say, "Hi, I'm [insert name here]. Yesterday was Election Day, and I'd like to know I can count on your support for the next [insert length of term here]." Wonder if that would make any difference in the way people use their new or extended power ... or if it would have more of an effect if we could do it randomly and periodically. :]

more minorities on the slopes

My father once told me he had no sympathy for me as I froze in my western NY dorm room because I also voluntarily chose to put myself in the line of danger by going ice skating and leaving the house on holidays such as Halloween and New Year's Eve. But apparently marketers are trying to overcome the biases brown people have against legitimately treacherous endeavours.  

http://www.cnn.com/2006/TRAVEL/10/30/bi.ski.resorts.minorities.ap/index.html

the weight of Indian Cosmo

Good grief! What a way to measure 'progress' or perhaps just progression toward the western norm.

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1552720,00.html

the numbers on those fruit stickers

Hey, who would have thought that these strings of numbers actually served a purpose?

http://www.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/dining/bal-fo.fruitstickers01nov01,0,3389911.story?coll=bal-pe-alacarte