LDRs

So the Divine Miss James has been posting observations this week about long-distance lovin' on her blog, BaltAmour.

I noted that technology like IM and unlimited nationwide cell phone minutes -- and discount airlines -- make LDRs much, much easier to maintain than they probably were in the Pony Express era, when people had to rely on Cold- Mountain-style missives to keep the home fires burning.

I forgot to mention there that all the technology, especially the internet phone service Skype, definitely helps people maintain LDRs over far greater distances than many people would attempt -- even internationally. I have one friend who was based in D.C. but now lives in South Africa with her husband ... they married after about a year apart. Then again, there's the Crab-Kiwi example that definitely didn't work out.

Sometimes I wonder whether LDRs can accelerate feelings of intimacy -- you know, absence makes the heart grow fonder? Or allow a relationship to perpetuate indefinitely because you don't see the things that would lead you to break up sooner.

For example, I talked about how all those Southwest Airlines trips can seem like a honeymoon. But when visits are planned ahead of time, you're totally on your best behavior --- no dirty dishes stacked up in the sink, porn cleaned out of the computer cache (if either of those are deal-breakers for you).

But this doesn't mean surprise encounters are a good idea. I have both surprised and been surprised, and I would not recommend it without intricate support from the significant other's friends. Invariably the other person is busy, or had made plans, plans that do not include you.