Thursday, December 28, 2006

Well, Frank is my middle name ...

Now, I know I have a bit of a neurosis about my middle initial. Once I hit confirmation age I rarely wrote my name without it, much less signed anything. I even introduced myself that way. What can I say? My parents blessed me with few syllables, so I tried to include letters as many as possible.
 
But according to this article, Harry S Truman had a lot more to complain about.
 
"Harry S Truman's middle initial led to controversy. Truman's parents could not agree on his middle name, so they settled on the letter S, sans period. Some deemed Truman's lack of a longer middle name as emblematic of his slight stature. How could the short, lightly regarded machine politician sit at the great FDR's desk? As Bruce Kuklick recounted in The Good Ruler: From Herbert Hoover to Richard Nixon, "one frustrated voter exclaimed, 'They say the S doesn't stand for nothing; the whole god-damn name doesn't stand for nothing.' "
 
Now, the Truman family dilemma makes a lot of sense to me. I have many fears associated with production of offspring, including the possibility that I might bestow upon my child a name that becomes connected with a mass murderer or some other awful association during his or her lifetime. As David Wallis points out, even Barak Obama is a victim. I wonder if there are any/many names that have followed the opposite course, moving from infamy to acceptability.
 
The fear of poor name choice, however, is trumped by the fear of producing an axe murderer or serial rapist or mime or boy band member myself.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

I'm the [insert carbohydrate here] man!

I'm not ready to concede defeat on a $20 bet I made with my sister over the weekend, about a children's story I remember my parents reading to me. The details are a bit fuzzy, but I remember the oft-repeated phrase "Can't catch me, I'm the Pancake Man!"

My sister remembers nothing of the sort and instead insists that the protagonist of this fable was in fact a gingerbread man, pointing to his recent appearance in the Shrek movies as evidence.

True, a Google search reveals far more references to gingerbread men than flapjack fellows, but I've found at least one example . Someone out there knows what I'm talking about!

Frankly, there's a lot of food on the loose, especially starchy ones, according to this Amazon list . Highlights include The Runaway Tortilla, The Flying Latke and that Hawai'ian favorite, The Musubi Man. Surprised not to see On Top of Spaghetti mentioned but by now you probably can't the first line of the song out of your head.

Listen to it on Scoutsongs.org:

"On top of spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
I lost my poor meatball,
When somebody sneezed.

It rolled off the table,
And on to the floor,
And then my poor meatball,
Rolled out of the door.

It rolled in the garden,
And under a bush,
And then my poor meatball,
Was nothing but mush.

The mush was as tasty
As tasty could be,
And then the next summer,
It grew into a tree.

The tree was all covered,
All covered with moss,
And on it grew meatballs,
And tomato sauce.

So if you eat spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
Hold on to your meatball,
Whenever you sneeze."

Sunday, December 10, 2006

It's not the size ...

but how you use it.
 
A desi friend sent me this link to a BBC story that could make many South Asian men shudder --- Condoms 'too big' for Indian men : A survey of more than 1,000 men in India concludes that condoms made according to international sizes are too big for most Indian men.
 
Clearly they have not heard of this product .

Friday, December 08, 2006

curse words

Profanity is always exciting... its origins are ripe for urban legands and creative uses (different parts of speech, for example) should be applauded. Here is a link to fascinating commentary about the use of curses in Francophone Canada.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/12/04/AR2006120401286.html
 

 

Thursday, November 30, 2006

a more affectionate form of biological warfare

So, I'm sick. Every day this week I've had symptoms that are slowly assembling (kind of like Voltron) to form a pretty nasty nasty cold. Sunday and Monday, I had a fever. Tuesday and Wednesday brought on a runny nose. Now my nose is so stuffy that my throat is getting scratchy as a result.
 
Actually, I have a fever but no chills, because it's so amazingly hot outside. Over 60 degrees in November, dudes.
 
I'm not the only person in the office under the weather. It seems like everyone independently caught something over the Thanksgiving weekend, probably from small children they encountered during the trip. My own youngest niece spent the weekend, her second as a 3-year-old, charging around dishing out hugs and kisses with abandon, leaving trails of contamination in her wake.
 
The redhead once said that instead of bombs we should send battalions of toddlers to our enemies. Picture it -- swarms of pre-kindergarteners, armed with sippy cups, demanding glue and chocolate, not necessarily in that order, sneezing on every horizontal surface. That ought to bring down even the most dasterdly foes.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

the search begins

So, since the sibling-offspring are still too young to read this blog, I can reveal here first that Auntie Santa is going to be packing watches for at least two of the three of them.

Now, I haven't always stuck to my values when purchasing a gift for the kids. I bought A.J. his first GameBoy when he was 3 -- an original (and used) model from eBay. And Kayla can wile away the hours playing Barbie Real Estate Investor because I contributed one of the two hot-pink mega-mansions when she turned 4. But I always debate whether I should yield to the silly commericalization of their society and purchase gender-specific, Disney-fied versions of whatever they're asking for. Then again, the Mickey Mouse watch is classic ...

As I began my quest the 21st century way (with a Google search) I discovered this article about the difficulties of selecting a wristwatch for an Indian child.

" ... please ensure that you are updated with the life of your young one to ensure that when you are out shopping for them, you have it right. You don't want them to sulk away and wish that they had another set of parents."

Just for purchasing an out-of-style watch?!

My own parents and relatives always seemed pretty quick to give small children watches --- sometimes even before the kid had a firm understanding of the passage of time. I always figured watches, like umbrellas, were status symbols in the old country. And the 'rents believed ripping the paper off a present was the most fun of all. The two concepts had merged in one package I opened as a four-year-old, only to discover that Kris Kringle had brought me vitamins, toothpaste and a purse-sized bumbershoot. If that's not proof that the Red Man is a lie, I don't know what is.

Guinea hen, not Constantinople

I think that for as long as I've celebrated Thanksgiving and had a reasonable understanding of geography I've been confused by the coincidence that both a bird and a country are named "Turkey."

A quick search on dictionary.com reveals that turkeys were originally confused with what wikipedia describes in greater detail as a guinea fowl of Turkish origin.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Akeelah and the Bee

I defied usual patterns of behavior moments ago by making it entirely through Akeelah and the Bee without falling asleep, after working until nearly 1 a.m. Saturday morning. Usually, the redhead says, the whir of a DVD sliding into the player is enough to lull me into a deep slumber, but perhaps the skim latte I sucked down at 6 p.m. helped stave off the ZZZs.
 
Anyway, although I'm inclined to enjoy any movie that features Scrabble so prominently, the story of Akeelah, an 11-year-old from the 'hood who gains the love and respect of her family and peers as she prepares for the national spelling bee, was just cloyingly sweet. Probably best suited for those who still can muster that suspension of disbelief so necessary to truly enjoy such a film, such as my 6-year-old niece.
 
The redhead declined to watch it, asking "what's with all the spelling bee movies these days?" There do seem to be several live and film depictions of the contests out there, what with the 2005 adaptation of Bee Season and the musical on Broadway. But he never even saw the best of the bunch: Spellbound, a documentary about kids preparing for the nationals.
 
And who knows? They may someday exist only in fictionalized form. Some people are blaming what's known as the No Child Left Behind act as a good reason to disband spelling bees altogether.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

but does it taste any good?

Seems like the nicotini does in fact exist, at least if you believe Google. But how does it taste? Maggie Downs says it's swill.
 
 

Urban Word of the Day: nicotini

Could this really be possible? Would people really serve tobacco-infused vodka, and would people really stave off the cravings with it?

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: daily@urbandictionary.com <daily@urbandictionary.com>
Date: Nov 9, 2006 7:55 AM
Subject: Urban Word of the Day: nicotini

Urban Word of the Day
www.urbandictionary.com

November 09, 2006: nicotini

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=nicotini&defid=1952548

An alcoholic drink that includes nicotine as an ingredient. Usually made with vodka in which tobacco has been soaked. Generally billed as an alternative for smokers in smoke-free establishments.

After the citywide smoking ban came into effect, my only option was to drink an occassional nicotini while barhopping.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

robocalls


This was a phenomenal election year for robocalls ... I got three from Bill Clinton and one from Jesse Jackson, as well as the usual rings from actual candidates themselves.
 
But I was inspired by this headline on Kevin Cowherd's election column. Imagine if we could robocall all the people who were elected to office and say, "Hi, I'm [insert name here]. Yesterday was Election Day, and I'd like to know I can count on your support for the next [insert length of term here]." Wonder if that would make any difference in the way people use their new or extended power ... or if it would have more of an effect if we could do it randomly and periodically. :]

Sunday, November 05, 2006

more minorities on the slopes

My father once told me he had no sympathy for me as I froze in my western NY dorm room because I also voluntarily chose to put myself in the line of danger by going ice skating and leaving the house on holidays such as Halloween and New Year's Eve. But apparently marketers are trying to overcome the biases brown people have against legitimately treacherous endeavours.  

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Happy Halloween, take II


Lemme try this again:
Here I am as the Utz Girl at Saturday's party, or perhaps, given my resemblance to Little Orphan Annie, the trendy brown child that all the hip celebrities are adopting these days.

Maybe the outfit was a little on the naughty side, because of the ankle socks and Mary Janes, but it's nothing like the Little Bo Peep Show costumes you've read too much about already.

Happy Halloween

If this works correctly, you'll be able to check out my costume this year ... either the Utz Girl (of east-coast snack food fame) or, given my resemblance to Little Orphan Annie, perhaps I was a "Trendy Brown Child for Celebrities to Adopt". Perhaps it was slightly tempting, with the ankle socks and Mary Janes, but it was nothing like the revealing costumes you've read too much about.
 
 

Monday, October 30, 2006

a quandry

So, I made this low fat broccoli soup tonight, but as usual it seemed like it was missing something ... I realize, now, that the one problem with low fat soup (both the broccoli one and the mizuna soup I made the other night ,substituting the spicy Japanese mustard green for arugula) is that it tastes a lot better when you add some fat to it.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

scientists: ghosts, vampires, zombies aren't real

 
thanks for clearing this up, guys!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061026/ap_on_sc/vampire_science
 
Funny, I think this does speak to the inconsistant abilities of superheros in our society. I remember thinking how strange it was that sometimes Superman could withstand the force of an enormous projectile, for example, without flinching but other times would react like he wasn't more powerful than a speeding train.
 

Halloween redux

Some very, very creative costumes out there this year, including:
 
highlights @ the MICA party
--- Crocodile Hunter Steve Kirwin, complete with death-inducing sting ray;
--- Lynndie England (looked great against the backdrop of one student's piece about the Iraq war)
--- a pair of blood thirsty, frightening Republicans;
--- a DickTater (with a potato on his belt);
--- the monster from Lost;
--- Frieda Kahlo;
--- roller girl Natalie Boh and his dog the skunk;
--- Mary Kate Olson and her sister Ashley, represented by a plastic femur bone. or is the other way around?
 
highlights from the work party
--- the most realistic man in drag I've ever seen;
--- green T (Mike W. was not proud of this, but I can't figure out why not)
--- some black-eyed Ps;
--- one woman representing herself from the 80s ... kinda turned out to be a Madonna aesthetic;
--- the Incredible Hulk;
--- a bear and hunter, armed with laser-sight suction dart and shotgun;
--- Jimmie Walker (dyn-o-mite!)
 
but I have to say, when we went encountered lots of college students at Towson Diner afterward, the overall theme there was very slutty for the women ... 
 
I'll post pictures of me and the redhead as soon as I can get someone to download them ... I was very proud of how my costume turned out, and Kelly's was pretty funny too. 

some lists

things I need to purchase ... bears no resemblance to what I actually have purchased in the last month:
 
--- boots: slouchy? platform? pointy toed? the options on nordstrom.com are pretty extensive.
--- straight-legged jeans: only if the boot mission is successful)
--- gloves: I lose one at the end of every winter season, it seems.
--- hat: something I could wear to work and still look vaguely mature, yet not too squishy of the hair.
--- cell phone: so people will stop telling me my phone is ancient.
--- pda: what's the point of a planner that refuses to hot sync with your computer?
--- laptop: to replace the wood burning model I'm using right now, which loads Web pages at the speed of dial-up, despite what I'm paying for a cable modem.
 
stuff I need to do, in no particular order
--- send an invite for the redhead's 30th shindig
--- put away winter clothes I've taken out of storage
--- wash/store summer clothes I've pulled out of the main rotation
--- take piles of clothes to goodwill that were culled from wardrobe months ago
--- clean the house (of course)
--- go to the farmers' market (thank goodness for daylight savings time!)